Today’s Track : The Strokes – Under Control
I don’t want to change your mind
I don’t want to change the world
I just want to watch it go by
I just want to watch you go by
We were young darling, we don’t have no control
We’re out of control
Today’s Word : solipsism \SOH-lip-sih-zum\ noun
: a theory holding that the self can know nothing but its
own modifications and that the self is the only existent thing
Today’s Books : Oryx and Crake – Margaret Atwood, Hey Nostradamus! – Douglas Coupland, The Well of Lost Plots – Jasper Fforde.
Today’s Blurb :
Douglas Coupland has been one of my favourite authors for some time now. I was first introduced to his works through a well-read friend and ever since then I’ve been fascinated with his writing style. I think I’d describe his stories and characters as having an envious humble worldliness. On Tuesday, I went to see Douglas Coupland read at the Harbour Front Theatre with Wanda. From his first few words you could tell he wasn’t an ordinary person. Dressed in an Agent Smith-like suit with Agent Smith-like hair (I wonder if he’s a Matrix fan) – you could tell from his first words that he was an eccentric. What was interesting was the fact that he read bits and pieces from his book but had organized it in such a way that all the separate pieces from the book flowed smoothly from one narration to the other. Random yet structured!!! I was quite surprised at his eccentric personality because his books seem so completely down to Earth. Regardless, I left that reading with more respect for Douglas. I also walked away with three autographed books. If you’ve got the time and inclination to discover a new author, these are three of my favourite Douglas Coupland books: Generation X; Girlfriend in a Coma; and Microserfs.
Thursday, October 30, 2003
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
The Adventures of Cleaky Squean the Dyslexic Janitor
Book 1 – The Grinions of Mime Strike
As Cleaky returned to his office at Streetsville Secondary after a much needed summer vacation he noticed a strong stench resonating from his office (aka the school basement). Without the presence of Cleaky and his trusty can of comet, the grime minions had threatened to take over his office. It was the first aggressive move from the germs since Cleaky drove them away in the Pine Fresh battle of ‘99. Dormant for 4 years, the grime slowly built up their armies and waited for Cleaky to take his vacation to strike. To Cleaky’s credit he was forced to use his vacation days because of new management and their insistence on mandatory vacations. It would serve them right if Cleaky turned around and walked away but Cleaky loved the school.
Back in 1966, in a janitor’s closet on the west wing of the school, a little sperm with unbridled enthusiasm made its way up the tallopian fubes of a young school girl and made first contact with one immaculate ovum. Nine months later Jacob Clean and Jessica Van Blackberry had a son. After 24 hrs of labour Jessica was able to push the young infant out. As if scripted by a director in a low-budget film, the child was born without any blood or uterus guck on him whatsoever. The doctors remarked that this was quite possibly the cleanest baby they had ever seen. And with the reckless abandon naming conventions of immigrant parents, Jacob and Jessica named their son Squeaky.
That same day the hospital assigned a temp administrative assistant to handle the birth certificates and paperwork for newborns. Instead of entering Squeaky Clean on the child’s birth certificate, she had put down Cleaky Squean. After correcting the mistake and getting an apology from the hospital, Jessica and Jacob went home with their son. Jessica and Jacob got married soon after the birth of Squeaky and both decided to find jobs after high school to provide for their son. Jacob found a job as a janitor at the same school and Jessica found a job as a waitress at Smokey Joe’s Café.
Years down the road when Squeaky started school, in a terrible twist of irony – Squeaky was diagnosed with dyslexia after teachers started noticing Squeaky switching and swapping letters in his writing. He was especially bad with his name and other people’s names. On several occasions Squeaky was sent to the principle’s office for calling Stussy Pink, a female classmate, by the wrong name. It was only after they diagnosed him with dyslexia and informed his teachers, that Squeaky was pardoned for his supposed foul mouth. The kids however were not so kind and would call him Cleaky Squean for years to come.
(To Be Continued…)
Book 1 – The Grinions of Mime Strike
As Cleaky returned to his office at Streetsville Secondary after a much needed summer vacation he noticed a strong stench resonating from his office (aka the school basement). Without the presence of Cleaky and his trusty can of comet, the grime minions had threatened to take over his office. It was the first aggressive move from the germs since Cleaky drove them away in the Pine Fresh battle of ‘99. Dormant for 4 years, the grime slowly built up their armies and waited for Cleaky to take his vacation to strike. To Cleaky’s credit he was forced to use his vacation days because of new management and their insistence on mandatory vacations. It would serve them right if Cleaky turned around and walked away but Cleaky loved the school.
Back in 1966, in a janitor’s closet on the west wing of the school, a little sperm with unbridled enthusiasm made its way up the tallopian fubes of a young school girl and made first contact with one immaculate ovum. Nine months later Jacob Clean and Jessica Van Blackberry had a son. After 24 hrs of labour Jessica was able to push the young infant out. As if scripted by a director in a low-budget film, the child was born without any blood or uterus guck on him whatsoever. The doctors remarked that this was quite possibly the cleanest baby they had ever seen. And with the reckless abandon naming conventions of immigrant parents, Jacob and Jessica named their son Squeaky.
That same day the hospital assigned a temp administrative assistant to handle the birth certificates and paperwork for newborns. Instead of entering Squeaky Clean on the child’s birth certificate, she had put down Cleaky Squean. After correcting the mistake and getting an apology from the hospital, Jessica and Jacob went home with their son. Jessica and Jacob got married soon after the birth of Squeaky and both decided to find jobs after high school to provide for their son. Jacob found a job as a janitor at the same school and Jessica found a job as a waitress at Smokey Joe’s Café.
Years down the road when Squeaky started school, in a terrible twist of irony – Squeaky was diagnosed with dyslexia after teachers started noticing Squeaky switching and swapping letters in his writing. He was especially bad with his name and other people’s names. On several occasions Squeaky was sent to the principle’s office for calling Stussy Pink, a female classmate, by the wrong name. It was only after they diagnosed him with dyslexia and informed his teachers, that Squeaky was pardoned for his supposed foul mouth. The kids however were not so kind and would call him Cleaky Squean for years to come.
(To Be Continued…)
Lost 80's Lunch Track : New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle
"If you do not find a remedy to these evils, it is a vain thing to boast of your severity in punishing theft, which though it may have the appearance of justice, yet in itself is neither just nor convenient. For if you suffer your people to be ill educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them?"
Utopia - Sir Thomas More
"If you do not find a remedy to these evils, it is a vain thing to boast of your severity in punishing theft, which though it may have the appearance of justice, yet in itself is neither just nor convenient. For if you suffer your people to be ill educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them?"
Utopia - Sir Thomas More
Thursday, October 23, 2003
Today's Track : Radiohead - Fake Plastic Trees
You know what I hate? I hate people who are judgmental. Just take a look at the word judgmental -- judge + mental = judgmental. People who judge are mental! I also hate people who make lame word jokes but I digress. You talk to these people and you can tell by the way they’re responding (or not responding) that they’re totally passing judgment over you. It was like back in the 70s when kids started listening to rock music and parents were all like, “No you’re not listening to Rock’n’Roll, it’s the devil’s music!” Or like when you go to the grocery store and you’re buying toilet paper and you’re too cheap to get 2-ply and the cashier looks at you like, “You’re going to wipe your ass with that?” I say who the hell are you to tell me how I should be living my life, what music I listen to and what kind of toilet paper I should be wiping my ass with! Maybe the 1-ply toilet paper is for my dog! Have you ever thought about that? Have you? I didn’t think so.
We judge others to try and make up for the insecurities we have about other parts of our lives. The whole holier-than-thou attitude is totally QFD (quelle fuckin drag). I think we all need to take a step back and try and evaluate ourselves as isolated individuals. Have we accomplished the goals we’ve set out to accomplish? Were our goals realistic? Can we still accomplish our goals? Are we happy with where we are in our lives? I think when you stop comparing yourself to your well-off buddies, you’ll find that you’re actually happier than you really thought you were.
You know what I hate? I hate people who are judgmental. Just take a look at the word judgmental -- judge + mental = judgmental. People who judge are mental! I also hate people who make lame word jokes but I digress. You talk to these people and you can tell by the way they’re responding (or not responding) that they’re totally passing judgment over you. It was like back in the 70s when kids started listening to rock music and parents were all like, “No you’re not listening to Rock’n’Roll, it’s the devil’s music!” Or like when you go to the grocery store and you’re buying toilet paper and you’re too cheap to get 2-ply and the cashier looks at you like, “You’re going to wipe your ass with that?” I say who the hell are you to tell me how I should be living my life, what music I listen to and what kind of toilet paper I should be wiping my ass with! Maybe the 1-ply toilet paper is for my dog! Have you ever thought about that? Have you? I didn’t think so.
We judge others to try and make up for the insecurities we have about other parts of our lives. The whole holier-than-thou attitude is totally QFD (quelle fuckin drag). I think we all need to take a step back and try and evaluate ourselves as isolated individuals. Have we accomplished the goals we’ve set out to accomplish? Were our goals realistic? Can we still accomplish our goals? Are we happy with where we are in our lives? I think when you stop comparing yourself to your well-off buddies, you’ll find that you’re actually happier than you really thought you were.
Thursday, October 16, 2003
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Tonight's Track : The Strokes - Room on Fire
The Strokes should have named that song "Poon on Fire"...because any girl who hears it would surely get all hot down in the poon area...like it was on fire...
Julian Casablancas was so high/drunk tonight, he was barely coherent when he spoke to the crowd. Amazingly though, he sang every song exactly how I expected them to sound. I think towards the night he was sobering up because I could actually make out his sentences. The Strokes rocked the Hershey Centre tonight and Wanda and I were there to witness it.
Random Info On the Strokes : Julian Casablancas is the son of the founder of Elite modeling.
Random Info On Wanda : She's afraid of clowns. I believe they call it coulrophobia.
Random Info On Shaky : I've got authentic Japanese ninja stars and I'm not afraid to use them.
Sleepy time...bon soir...
The Strokes should have named that song "Poon on Fire"...because any girl who hears it would surely get all hot down in the poon area...like it was on fire...
Julian Casablancas was so high/drunk tonight, he was barely coherent when he spoke to the crowd. Amazingly though, he sang every song exactly how I expected them to sound. I think towards the night he was sobering up because I could actually make out his sentences. The Strokes rocked the Hershey Centre tonight and Wanda and I were there to witness it.
Random Info On the Strokes : Julian Casablancas is the son of the founder of Elite modeling.
Random Info On Wanda : She's afraid of clowns. I believe they call it coulrophobia.
Random Info On Shaky : I've got authentic Japanese ninja stars and I'm not afraid to use them.
Sleepy time...bon soir...
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Today's Track : The Strokes - Someday
The 10 things I learned from my weekend trip to Montreal…
1) If there was a city that spawned all bad drivers, this would be it.
2) The local extreme sport is J-walking. There is nothing more fun than trying to dodge oncoming traffic. All recognized agreements between driver and pedestrian are void here.
3) The French language really does sound cool, even when spoken by not-so-cool people.
4) The fish like me in Montreal. I could throw a dirty sock onto a fishing hook and still catch fish.
5) Families with language barriers can bridge the gap with food.
6) Old Montreal is beautiful at night.
7) Wanda loves the environment and keeps me aware at how horrible we as humans are at keeping our environment clean.
8) 4 kids is 2 kids too many to deal with as a parent.
9) Walking aimlessly can be fun if you’ve got someone to walk with.
10) All vacations are too short.
...
Going to see the Strokes in concert tonight. Rock on!
The 10 things I learned from my weekend trip to Montreal…
1) If there was a city that spawned all bad drivers, this would be it.
2) The local extreme sport is J-walking. There is nothing more fun than trying to dodge oncoming traffic. All recognized agreements between driver and pedestrian are void here.
3) The French language really does sound cool, even when spoken by not-so-cool people.
4) The fish like me in Montreal. I could throw a dirty sock onto a fishing hook and still catch fish.
5) Families with language barriers can bridge the gap with food.
6) Old Montreal is beautiful at night.
7) Wanda loves the environment and keeps me aware at how horrible we as humans are at keeping our environment clean.
8) 4 kids is 2 kids too many to deal with as a parent.
9) Walking aimlessly can be fun if you’ve got someone to walk with.
10) All vacations are too short.
...
Going to see the Strokes in concert tonight. Rock on!
Tuesday, October 07, 2003
Today’s Track : Smashing Pumpkins - Today
OMG…Wanda is too cool for rules!! (that saying is coming back into style…you heard it here first) She just bought us tickets for a reading with Douglas Coupland at the Premiere Dance Theatre on Oct. 28th. This may be one of the best presents I’ve ever gotten. Thanks Wanda!
This is going to be a good week.
Last night the colts covered the spread after being down 21 pts with 5 minutes left in the game. Unf*ckin believable I tell you. 3 touchdowns, 1 recovered onside kick, and they kicked a fg in overtime that bounced off a lineman, the right upright, and through for the 3 pt win!
Today I’m going to get my 20 gig MAC iPod. This portable mp3 player can hold over 50 000 songs!! We’re talking about unadulterated musical fun!!
Thursday is going to be great weather and I’ve got a tennis match booked.
Friday I’m headed to Montreal with Wanda. A girl who rocks the free world like no other. We’re going to check out some museums, have some nice dinners in the Montreal suburbs, and visit some friends.
What did I do to deserve all this?
OMG…Wanda is too cool for rules!! (that saying is coming back into style…you heard it here first) She just bought us tickets for a reading with Douglas Coupland at the Premiere Dance Theatre on Oct. 28th. This may be one of the best presents I’ve ever gotten. Thanks Wanda!
This is going to be a good week.
Last night the colts covered the spread after being down 21 pts with 5 minutes left in the game. Unf*ckin believable I tell you. 3 touchdowns, 1 recovered onside kick, and they kicked a fg in overtime that bounced off a lineman, the right upright, and through for the 3 pt win!
Today I’m going to get my 20 gig MAC iPod. This portable mp3 player can hold over 50 000 songs!! We’re talking about unadulterated musical fun!!
Thursday is going to be great weather and I’ve got a tennis match booked.
Friday I’m headed to Montreal with Wanda. A girl who rocks the free world like no other. We’re going to check out some museums, have some nice dinners in the Montreal suburbs, and visit some friends.
What did I do to deserve all this?
Monday, October 06, 2003
Today's Track : Aha - Take On Me
Here’s something I read that was interesting…
"Randomness is a useful shorthand for describing a pattern that’s bigger than anything we can hold in our minds. Letting go of randomness is one of the hardest decisions a person can make."
Which I suppose is the same as saying that having faith in something that’s unknown is the hardest decision a person can make. For some of us that might be religion; it might be love; it could be certain events in our life that we’ve deemed to be signs of something greater than their mere face value. Whatever it is I find that we’re living in a time where a lot of our emphasis is placed on science and technology. As a species, randomness is something that we’ve tried to avoid for awhile. As a generation, from what I’ve seen in my friends, family and peers – we’re the generation without faith. Should that disturb us? I’m not quite sure if it should. What role does faith play in a meaningful life?
Here’s something I read that was interesting…
"Randomness is a useful shorthand for describing a pattern that’s bigger than anything we can hold in our minds. Letting go of randomness is one of the hardest decisions a person can make."
Which I suppose is the same as saying that having faith in something that’s unknown is the hardest decision a person can make. For some of us that might be religion; it might be love; it could be certain events in our life that we’ve deemed to be signs of something greater than their mere face value. Whatever it is I find that we’re living in a time where a lot of our emphasis is placed on science and technology. As a species, randomness is something that we’ve tried to avoid for awhile. As a generation, from what I’ve seen in my friends, family and peers – we’re the generation without faith. Should that disturb us? I’m not quite sure if it should. What role does faith play in a meaningful life?
Friday, October 03, 2003
Today's Track : The Strokes - Is This It
Detoxing my body for the next 3 months...back at the gym...back on a nutritious diet of bananas, protein shakes, and lots of water...
First week of results :
Lots of bowel movements
Lots of clear pee
Lots of aching muscles
Count of wings eaten since start of program = 0
I hate this program.
Detoxing my body for the next 3 months...back at the gym...back on a nutritious diet of bananas, protein shakes, and lots of water...
First week of results :
Lots of bowel movements
Lots of clear pee
Lots of aching muscles
Count of wings eaten since start of program = 0
I hate this program.
Thursday, October 02, 2003
Today's Track : Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Lovesong
I was really busy pretending to be busy at work today. Everytime someone walked by my desk I made the "God, why can't I solve this problem" face. You know -- the one you make when you've been working on a really hard problem and you're on the verge of solving it. After awhile I realized I wasn't making enough typing noises to convey my false busy-ness. So I started replying to some old emails I haven't responded to. Then when a coworker walked by I'd put on my frustrated face and ALT-TAB'd to a script I already finished about a month ago. Occasionally I would mumble to myself, "arg...stupid microsoft". Once the customer service supervisor in the next cubicle looked over and said, "rough day huh?...me too."
I hate being inbetween projects. I hate beind idle. I hate being inbetween projects and idle. This tomfoolery has to stop. I have to get on another project soon.
In the afternoon I decided to take a little break and spark up some conversation with the ladies near my cubicle. I thought I'd joke around with them a bit.
Shaky - So are you guys going to vote tonight?
Suzanne - Yeah, I'm going to go right after work.
Shaky - Yeah, me too.
Karen - So who are you voting for?
Shaky - Well I really like what Mike Harris and the PC's did with our education system so I'm gonna vote for the conservatives.
Karen/Suzanne - *insolent looks*
Shaky - I kidd...I kidd!
Karen - You better be!
Shaky - Of course I am, Mike Harris and the PC's are the ones who killed our education system with their cutbacks. I know that!!
Suzanne - *irreverent look*
Shaky - Wow, tough crowd.
Actually I had a similar conversation with a few friends over some wings a few weeks ago. It went something like this...
Shaky - So who are you guys voting for next week?
Friend #1 - I'd probably vote Liberal.
Friend #2 - Really? I think I'm gonna vote Conservative. I really like what Mike Harris did with our education system.
Friend #1 - Oh...you mean completely destroy it?
Wanda - hahaha.
Shaky - hahaha...you gotta be kidding right?...with all his cutbacks...he's the cause of all the crowded classrooms and teachers going on strike!
Friend #2 - Oh really? I didn't know.
It was amusing and disturbing at the same time. Just goes to show that not many people pay attention to politics and how this country is ran. I'm in the same boat. I should pay attention a little more myself.
Anyhow...Liberals won the election tonight by a large margin. Time for some much needed change in this province.
I was really busy pretending to be busy at work today. Everytime someone walked by my desk I made the "God, why can't I solve this problem" face. You know -- the one you make when you've been working on a really hard problem and you're on the verge of solving it. After awhile I realized I wasn't making enough typing noises to convey my false busy-ness. So I started replying to some old emails I haven't responded to. Then when a coworker walked by I'd put on my frustrated face and ALT-TAB'd to a script I already finished about a month ago. Occasionally I would mumble to myself, "arg...stupid microsoft". Once the customer service supervisor in the next cubicle looked over and said, "rough day huh?...me too."
I hate being inbetween projects. I hate beind idle. I hate being inbetween projects and idle. This tomfoolery has to stop. I have to get on another project soon.
In the afternoon I decided to take a little break and spark up some conversation with the ladies near my cubicle. I thought I'd joke around with them a bit.
Shaky - So are you guys going to vote tonight?
Suzanne - Yeah, I'm going to go right after work.
Shaky - Yeah, me too.
Karen - So who are you voting for?
Shaky - Well I really like what Mike Harris and the PC's did with our education system so I'm gonna vote for the conservatives.
Karen/Suzanne - *insolent looks*
Shaky - I kidd...I kidd!
Karen - You better be!
Shaky - Of course I am, Mike Harris and the PC's are the ones who killed our education system with their cutbacks. I know that!!
Suzanne - *irreverent look*
Shaky - Wow, tough crowd.
Actually I had a similar conversation with a few friends over some wings a few weeks ago. It went something like this...
Shaky - So who are you guys voting for next week?
Friend #1 - I'd probably vote Liberal.
Friend #2 - Really? I think I'm gonna vote Conservative. I really like what Mike Harris did with our education system.
Friend #1 - Oh...you mean completely destroy it?
Wanda - hahaha.
Shaky - hahaha...you gotta be kidding right?...with all his cutbacks...he's the cause of all the crowded classrooms and teachers going on strike!
Friend #2 - Oh really? I didn't know.
It was amusing and disturbing at the same time. Just goes to show that not many people pay attention to politics and how this country is ran. I'm in the same boat. I should pay attention a little more myself.
Anyhow...Liberals won the election tonight by a large margin. Time for some much needed change in this province.
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